Feeling guilty for feeling good

So, I’m up, I’m dressed and I even made an effort with my hair and makeup today. I’m excited to go out. Anxious as I know this could end at any moment. I pack my bag with my meds just in case. I go out and I have a great time until...

The guilt. The guilt for feeling good and enjoying myself. I’m ill, I’m in pain. I’m not meant to have “good days”. I constantly battle to explain to people how ill my migraines make me. How much pain I’m in and how debilitating they are. But here I am, out and feeling good. My pain is low today. I should be celebrating and jumping for joy. Instead I’m worrying what people will think when they see me out having a good time. I assume they are judging me for not seeming “ill” enough. “She seems ok to me”.

All of a sudden, I feel like I should be at work or doing something useful and contributing to society. Not having an ice cream in the sunshine. I should be cherishing this day and my low head pain but instead I feel weighed down with guilt.

Does this sound like you?

This is me whenever I have a good run with my head. Whenever I get a glimmer of hope that I could actually recover. I waste so much of that time feeling guilty for feeling good.

How silly right?

Will you chill for just a min. You just started to feel better. Like a week ago. And you have been in pain for months and months and well let’s face it... years. You are allowed to feel good and go out and enjoy yourself. 

Celebrate the good days! I can’t stress this enough. You have enough time in bed feeling rubbish. You are allowed to feel well. You are allowed to have low pain. You are allowed to recover. You will do all the things you feel you ought to do in time.

Stop worrying about what others will think of you and start enjoying your good days, good hours and all those good moments in between. Feel good, not guilty!